In my entire life so far, I have never needed any kind of official therapy. Never been through anything traumatic enough. Actually, I am lying, I had a small bout of CBT after a break-up. Back then, in 2011 (or was it 2012?) I thought my whole world had fallen apart, mainly because said charming... Continue Reading →
When grief pushes away the few good things you have left.
SANDS Babies and children's memorial garden I wrote and published a piece of writing the other day. But I deleted it. The thing is, I know how tiresome it is to read such darkness. I kept reading it back to myself and, as much as it came directly from my heart, which is where this... Continue Reading →
I Cry
This poem was written by one of the three most wonderful people in my life. The person who has stuck by me, day in and day out, through the most challenging and painful experience I could ever imagine. Stuart Hollands. Someone who, despite the tremendous strain this experience has put on us as a couple,... Continue Reading →
Today, my darling girl, I am going to fight.
Today marks a momentous event. A bill has been introduced to provide parents with a certificate when their baby has died, regardless if the loss was before or after 20 weeks. I cannot even begin to tell you how thrilled I am to hear this. Such a positive step towards breaking the taboo of... Continue Reading →
One big leap forward….
I haven't written for a while now. At least, not in the consistency I was previously. The reason being, I had finally seemed to turn a massive corner. I didn't need to write. I felt good. In fact, I had fully intended to write a positive piece about how much better things were. I still... Continue Reading →
Hello, I am Veruca Salt. Pleased to meet you.
There is a child tantrumming in my head today. Today I want to scream and cry and stamp my feet and tell the world that IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR. A year ago we lost our second baby. This time it was so early on that the news hadn't totally sunk in yet. We were embarking... Continue Reading →
A few wise words from some very wise people
Over the past year or so, I have sought advice and support from various resources. Online forums, babyloss charities, Facebook support groups, wonderful friends of mine, and family. Even friends of friends have personally contacted me to share their experience. This has brought a lot of comfort and made me feel far less alone. That... Continue Reading →
A letter to my daughter
My darling girl, It's been over a year since your little heart gave up. That last beat. The last wave of life fighting for you, willing you to keep going. I had no idea you had passed away inside me. The one place you should have been safe from harm. I spoke to you, imagining... Continue Reading →
Where am I?
Imagine you're walking through a busy city you've not been to before but it feels oddly familiar. You're ambling along enjoying the scenery and happily discovering new and exciting things around you. Things you think you've seen before but haven't. You stop now and again to take a photo of something that's caught your eye... Continue Reading →
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